@LoMoMarlins Tweets #Baseball Lawsuit to #Marlins – Parody

*** WARNING MATURE CONTENT ***
 
  LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
#ICanHonestlySay I sued the #Marlins #business #sadface
21 minutes ago
 
 
 DaveSamson Dave Samson
@LoMoMarlins Supp Logan! #Marlins Prez here. Why u du dat Mo? U mad?
13 minutes ago
 
 
  LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson Protecting my rights. Why are you typing like that?
13 minutes ago
 
 
DaveSamson Dave Samson
@LoMoMarlins I’m keeping it real. Getting down with the tweet. So don’t sue.
11 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson Rough year personally but was 2nd on OPS on Marlins. Told by @WesHelms I could miss charity auction, then demoted?
11 minutes ago
 
 
DaveSamson Dave Samson
@LoMoMarlins We thought it best.
11 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson Who is ‘we’? @JeffLoria ?
11 minutes ago
 
 
JeffLoria Jeff Loria
No comment @LoMoMarlins @DaveSamson @espn @fox @FoxSportsSouth @FSMidwest @MLBOnFox @FoxSportsLat @Fox SportsWest @MLBOnFox @rootsportspit
9 minutes ago
  
jonahkeri Jonah Keri
@JeffLoria Oh my god, you killed Youppi!
9 minutes ago
 
 
SouthParkKyle Kyle Broflovski
@JeffLoria You bastard!
9 minutes ago
 
 
DaveSamson Dave Samson
@LoMoMarlins Doesn’t matter who ‘we’ is. We felt it was best for the organization. Evidence times 88 http://tinyurl.com/3c6vsbx 
 9 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson @JeffLoria You’re just upset I have more Twitter followers than you have sold season tickets.
9 minutes ago
 
 
DaveSamson Dave Samson
@LoMoMarlins Half of them are spam bots. Really want that #iPad2 huh?
8 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson Too busy working out, hitting home runs and getting on base to ban people. @JeffLoria Still there?
8 minutes ago
 
 
DaveSamson Dave Samson
@LoMoMarlins He’s busy. Went back to his office to stop and smell the roses in a painting he just bought.
8 minutes ago
 
 
JackMcKeonIRC Jack_McKeon
 /join #marlins8 minutes ago
 
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@JackMcKeonIRC …? “JackMcKeonIRC /join #marlins”
8 minutes ago
 
 
michaelhill michaelhill
@LoMoMarlins We got it, Logan. You can head back to the gym now.
7 minutes ago
 
 
DaveSamson Dave Samson
@JackMcKeonIRC @LoMoMarlins Hang on Jack.
7 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@MichaelHill Already did that, as ‘you’ and everyone else should know. Twice the curls since you demoted me.
7 minutes ago
 
 
michaelhill michaelhill
@LoMoMarlins You’re not being fair. @JeffLoria ‘s always been good to you. Even let you use his jet.
6 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@MichaelHill Yeah and I appreciate that, still I don’t want it to happen again. So I sue you.
6 minutes ago
 
 
AlYankovic Al Yankovic
@LoMoMarlins @MichaelHill #Marlins Leavin’ on a Jet Plane!
6 minutes ago
 
 
michaelhill michaelhill
@AlYankovic Al, pal, stay out of this. @LoMoMarlins You can still move your fingers, so find something else to do other than Twitter.
5 minutes ago
 
 
JackMcKeonIRC Jack_McKeon
lcd run C://Windows/Program Files/Twitter/Readme.txt
5 minutes ago
 
 
OzzieGuillen Ozzie Guillen
@JackMcKeonIRC Wow lol oh lord U make our life fun
5 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@MichaelHill And you think I’m embarassing??? “@JackMcKeonIRC lcd run C://Windows/Program Files/Twitter/Readme.txt”
5 minutes ago
 
 
 dougglanville Doug Glanville
@JackMcKeonIRC @LoMoMarlins @OzzieGuillen Jack’s on IRC. It’s a chat system popular in the late 80s and early 90s but still used
5 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@dougglanville Thanks…
5 minutes ago
 
 
JackMcKeonIRC Jack_McKeon
/whois @DougGlanville
4 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson @MichaelHill Are you helping Jack out?
4 minutes ago
 
 
JackMcKeonIRC Jack_McKeon
/msg #exmarlins Hi everyone!
4 minutes ago
 
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson @MichaelHill Hello?…
4 minutes ago
 
 
 
JimmyRollins11 Jimmy Rollins
@JackMcKeonIRC @LoMoMarlins @DaveSamson @MichaelHill lol
4 minutes ago
 
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@JimmyRollins11 @DaveSamson @MichaelHill J-Roll, just wait till next year!
3 minutes ago
 
 
 
JimmyRollins11 Jimmy Rollins
@LoMoMarlins #mlbtraderumors we got room for u
3 minutes ago
 
 
 
AlYankovic Al Yankovic
@MichaelHill @JimmyRollins11 – @LoMoMarlins don’t know if he’ll be back again…
3 minutes ago
 
 
JackMcKeonIRC Jack_McKeon
/msg #marlinsex Hi everyone!
3 minutes ago
 
 
 
JimmyRollins11 Jimmy Rollins
@LoMoMarlins @DaveSamson @MichaelHill @DougGlanville lol haaaa RT “@JackMcKeonIRC /msg #marlinsex Hi everyone!”
3 minutes ago
 
 
OzzieGuillen Ozzie Guillen
@LoMoMarlins @DaveSamson @MichaelHill @DougGlanville what shit @JackMcKeonIRC u say wtf?
3 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@OzzieGuillen How come I can’t get away with it?
3 minutes ago
 
 
JoshWillingham Josh Willingham
@JackMcKeonIRC #marlinsex Hi Coach! I’m in Oakland. Real Athletic now! May I follow and DM you? 🙂
3 minutes ago
 
 
AlYankovic Al Yankovic
@OzzieGuillen @JimmyRollins11 @LoMoMarlins @JackMcKeon @JoshWillingham His bags are packed, he’s ready to blow.
2 minutes ago
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
Is it ok to ban your boss from your Twitter? Replies needed ASAP!!!
2 minutes ago
 
 
OzzieGuillen Ozzie Guillen
U mad bro? RT “@LoMoMarlinsIs it ok to ban your boss from your Twitter? Replies needed ASAP!!!”
2 minutes ago
 
dougglanville Doug Glanville
@LoMoMarlins @DaveSamson @MichaelHill It’s almost too easy to write about this. @NYTimes or @ESPN?
2 minutes ago
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@dougglanville Follow me so I can DM. You were union right?
2 minutes ago
 
 
DaveSamson Dave Samson
@LoMoMarlins Situation’s under control. @dougglanville I have a better idea…
1 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@dougglanville Follow me so I can DM. You were union right?
1 minutes ago
 
 
WesHelms Wes Helms
@LoMoMarlins So was I. #oops
1 minutes ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DougGlanville Open appeal. Write about my suit, I’ll give an interview and RTs and followers.
54 seconds ago
 
dougglanville Doug Glanville
@LoMoMarlins Sorry, got a deadline. Keep in touch, k?
50 seconds ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson I didn’t do anything. Just announcing my suit till Jack got whacky. Didn’t even ban him.
41 seconds ago
 
DaveSamson Dave Samson
@LoMoMarlins and @MichaelHill and @JackMcKeonIRC to @JeffLoria ‘s office tomorrow.
30 seconds ago
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson @MichaelHill @JeffLoria But wait! Please reconsider. #beg #sorry #forgive
25 seconds ago
 
DaveSamson Dave Samson
@LoMoMarlins End of Line.
24 seconds ago
 
 
LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
@DaveSamson Yes sir.
20 seconds ago
 
 
AlYankovic Al Yankovic
#marlinsex down in Flor-i-da where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda. S-O-D-A. Soda.
10 seconds ago
 
JoshWillingham Josh Willingham
@JackMcKeon Coach?… Lose link?
3 minutes ago
 
 
 
 
COMMENTARY: I put a lot of work into this so I hope you enjoyed this. I respect everyone mentioned (except maybe, sorta Jeff Loria). All impersonations of tweets were done without permission but with the intent to have some good fun. Please do not read this little parody and assume I had some inside knowledge or feeling on any of the parties mentioned.
 
For a very well written, touching piece on Logan Morrison and the Marlins ownership, please check out Amy K. Nelson’s fine article at http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=110915/loganmorrison
 
Richard Bergstrom
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